Adult Children Emotionally Damaged By An Alcoholic

This video below tells the story of an emotionally damaged adult child of an alcoholic. It is filled with yesterday’s tragedies, hope for tomorrow and strength for today. She gives great tips that can help you identify with the things from your past that can greatly help you live a happier life today.

Check out this Youtube video that lists all of the Adult Children Of Alcoholics Characteristics.

“It has been said that we are as sick as our secrets. When you get those secrets out, and you find out that a lot of other people have experienced the same thing, there is a lot of freedom in that.

My dad came from a very stern past and I think there was a lot of sadness and depression in him that he glazed over with the alcohol. Oftentimes, it felt as though we were just hanging by our fingernails because at any minute that he came home, there could be an explosion.

He would get home really late sometimes and I would be asleep and I would hear them fighting in the kitchen. I mean glass breaking, furniture being scratched. There are holes in the walls still where there were gunshots and I could just hear her being knocked around.

Sometimes I would sneak in and I can remember being just an itty-bitty, little girl and being under the kitchen table and watching their feet go back and forth in front of me as they fought. And I can remember her just whacking him with a broom and trying to get him to stop and it was something that I knew I never wanted to have again in my life and I never wanted my children, if I had children, to ever experience that.

Just before I married my first husband, I had a pretty wicked injury and about the only thing that would relieve that pain was gin and I just – I enjoyed drinking and I don’t think I could have gotten married if I had not been drinking. I think that the alcohol helped me stay in denial about what I was really getting into.

I wanted to have two little redheaded children to get to do the do-over of my brother and me. I mean I was bent to get to do a do-over and once my son got to be the age that I was when I remembered some of the things that happened, I turned into a massive control freak. I wanted perfection and this is something that a lot of adult children of alcoholics – because we had so little control as children, when we get to be big people – and sometimes we’re just little people in big people bodies. We want to control things and I want to control and I did a lot of damage.

This article can help you learn How To Protect Against Alcoholism In The Family.

I had to get to that place of complete surrender. I had to get that I was so broken that there was no way I could ever do this alone and a friend told me about a support group for people who grew up in alcoholism (see How Alcoholism Affects Your Family) or had family or friends who were alcoholics and I crawled into that support group.

I had to sit and listen and learn and find out that I was not the only person who had lived through this, that there were solutions and there were tools and there were people who loved me and could help me and there were people who set a great example that I wanted to be like they were. I wanted to know that joy. I wanted to know that love. I wanted to have that kind of relationship with my children. I started journaling and I learned a way to journal that helped me parse out and get the differences between what I was thinking and what I was feeling and how I was acting.

By writing about these things, I found that I could help myself and that what I wrote could actually help other people and that was so humbling because being able to help my children by helping myself and helping other mothers and parents who had grown up in this, it kind of helped make sense of all that pain.

People learn this behavior. When I say hurt, people hurt people and I just wonder, “Who did this to my grandfather?” I mean where did he learn that? That’s why I just say so much the cycle has to stop because it’s going to get acted out again.

Pain won’t kill us and if we can feel it and use it to become conscious, we will know that we don’t want our kids to grow up in this and we will know that we need to ask for help and we will ask for the help and together we can stop that cycle.”

Check out this Youtube video that lists all of the Adult Children Of Alcoholics Characteristics.