Coping With Alcoholic Behavior click to listen
Coping with the personality of an alcoholic can cause those dealing with this person’s behavior to be affected in many ways. I’m going to give you some key tips that will help you to handle your situation in a more self-controlled manner. The benefit of using these techniques will be a decreased anxiety in you and an enhanced emotional stability. They will also aid you in becoming a happier person- even if this person suffering from addiction is not drinking.
If you read our article on the signs of alcoholism, you have a pretty good idea of what the characteristics are of someone struggling in this area. Now, you need to understand how their behaviors are affecting you and what changes you can make in order to NOT get entangled in their dysfunctional life. If you are already closely involved with them and their problem, these methods will help you get your emotions settled down and untangled from reacting to everything they are doing.
Some of the things we react to are when:
- the alcoholic lies
- they break engagements or plans
- they do things to push our emotional buttons
First, I want you to understand that nothing you have done up until now has caused them to quit drinking. Next take a moment to think about how much you have changed from the person you were before you started trying to cope with this person who is an alcoholic.
Here are some things I think you can identify with:
- Are you constantly thinking about them?
- Do you check up on them to see if they are drinking?
- Do you look for indications that they have been drinking?
- Are you angry and anxious because of your interactions with them?
- Do you feel a need to defend your character because of things they say about you?
- Do you argue and fight about them NOT telling the truth?
- Are you always second place to their drinking?
The way to quit constantly thinking about what they are doing is to find things to do that will help you get them off of your mind. We’ve already established that nothing you have done has made them quit. In a sense, the personality of the alcoholic is unchangeable. So letting go of them is a MUST. If we don’t, we will go crazy trying to control the uncontrollable functioning or non-functioning alcoholic.
Here are a few things to help you with this situation:
- Call friends on the phone and talk to them often
- Go to the movies
- Read books
- Take up a few hobbies
- Volunteer work is a great way to focus on something else
- Get involved with support group meetings
Here are a few guidelines for coping with obsession:
- Don’t look at them when they walk into a room to see if they are drunk or not
- Refuse to play the role of the private investigator who is always checking up on them
- When you realize your thoughts are stuck on their behaviors, don’t allow them to rent space in your head
- Try not to call them repeatedly
- Delete emails and phone messages from them without reading or listening to them
Here’s the best tip I can give you for coping with an alcoholic:
Never argue with a drunk. There’s no point in trying to have a rational conversation with them when they have been drinking. It is pointless to argue with anyone, PERIOD. If you make this a rule, I promise that you will be more self-controlled, have less anxiety, and will experience greater levels of peace in your life. Your functioning normally in the midst of a dysfunctional relationship is possible. It is just going to require learning from people who know how to do this.
There are hundreds of tips I can share with you on coping with the problem drinker. Most of them are found in the “Dealing With Alcoholics” information that we have developed to help people just like you to handle these situations the most successfully. The addict is not going to change until they hit bottom. Therefore, we are the ones who need to start making changes to protect ourselves from the negative impact of this disease.
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